I don’t usually make time for meditating. Sitting in silence for an extended period of time with my eyes closed usually grates my nerves, but recently I was successful in quieting my mind while sitting in a 6-foot wide, 2-foot deep pool in my backyard.
I started with a breathing exercise I recently learned where with each breath I would visualize going deeper and deeper into my body down to my belly, down to my toes, and then through my feet to the earth below among the roots of all trees and plants.
Because I was sitting to my neck in water in my pool, I visualized with each breath reaching further while underground to the shoreline of the west coast of the U.S., and then into the Pacific Ocean where breathing like a fish seemed natural. My traveling felt effortless and dreamlike, so I visualized the creatures I might see.
A huge whale appeared next to me so I reached out to touch it. Sliding my hand across the pool wall, I was able to feel the whale’s silky smooth skin. When its large dark eye drifted slowly by me, we connected. “I am you and you are me,” I felt us both say. My eyes filled with tears and my heart with deep sadness. “I’m sorry,” I said. “For all we’ve done, I’m sorry.” The whale moved along, followed by a baby whale hugging its mother’s side. I stroked the baby whale’s virgin skin as though it were a fragile sheet of thin glass, as though with one clumsy move I might shatter the trust it and its mother afforded me. I felt humbled and blessed but, truth be told, I also felt unworthy.
Just then, a playful dolphin bumped into me, as if to convey, ‘Lighten up, Sue.’ When I turned around, I saw it circle around and then drift alongside me. Just like the whale, we connected eye to eye, but what I saw in the dolphin’s eye and felt in my heart was its infinite forgiveness. In my little pool in my backyard, with eyes still closed I ran the back of my hand across my cheek so I could feel the dolphin’s velvety skin gently brushing across my face. I felt its forgiveness flow through me, filling my lungs, warming my heart, melting my sorrows. I felt my oneness with this dolphin, the whales, the ocean, the earth, and all that exists beyond it, and this to me felt more real than ‘real.’
I didn’t want to leave, but I knew I had to, so I looked around one last time at the sea creatures and sea plants of which I now felt very much a part of and gave thanks to them all for allowing me to be there. Then I slowly opened my eyes for the split-second journey back home to the pool that felt less real than when I left it.
When I looked down at my feet stretched out before me on the floor of the pool, I saw a distinct yellow-green aura around them. Thinking it was only a vision in my head, I reached down and grabbed my toes. I half expected the disruption of the water to kick up the green glow like it were dust. I at least expected that by physically touching the toes, I would break the meditative spell and make the green aura disappear. But it didn’t do either. Instead, the glow remained there around my toes, an unmistakable, very real green aura that may have always been there, but I just never noticed it. It reminded me of the thin blue atmosphere around our planet that’s always been there but until our astronauts headed out into space, we never saw it. Whatever this was, it was VERY cool and had me thinking on it for quite a while.
Although after this event, I eventually reasoned that the aura I saw around my toes in the pool was simply a prism effect of the sun’s light filtering through the pool’s water, the point is that though the green glow around my toes may have always been there for me to see, I didn’t see it, not until this particular meditation and this meditative journey I happened upon. Fascinated by this new finding, I researched but couldn’t find any information about why I might see a prism effect on my body while underwater but I did find the words in the section below about what a yellow-green aura means:
Yellow Green Aura
Green is the color of the heart and lungs. Yellow is the color of the spleen and life energy. Those with the combination of these two colors as their aura are creative, have love for life, and are very communicative. However, they may not be so much talkers as artists expressing themselves through painting, pottery, music or other creative outlets. If you are finding yourself in a creative time in your life, this color may be bright around you.
To nurture the yellow green aura let your creative side out… reach for a coloring book. Get out your pencils and let your mind relax as your hands create something beautiful. Find a new way to express yourself that allows you to be artistic. Create something beautiful for you or share your talents by creating something beautiful for a friend.
It’s interesting to me that these words reflect very well on where I am at this point in my life. I’ve been tapping into my creativity these past 12 years: with writing and especially with more advanced jewelry making these past two years. Recently I’ve even been chalk drawing in the driveway and coloring in a lovely coloring book for adults!
So, I’ve been creative, but at the same time, I’ve also been in resistance to it. Since the majority of my adult life has been spent on focusing on practicality and purpose, I often question the point of my recent creative endeavors. Am I playing? Am I trying to make money from it? SHOULD I try to make money from it? Is this my calling, my gift? How much time should I allow myself to spend on it if it’s not practical or purposeful? It’s actually a major source of discontent, procrastination and a creativity “black hole” to have these nagging thoughts. But I’m slowly coming to understand that there is absolutely no point to my creative endeavors at all, other than the deep knowing that I should keep pursuing them… WITHOUT expectations. I need to let expectations go so I can let creativity grow.
“Let expectations go; let your creativity grow.”
I’ve been in resistance to meditation for quite a long time. I think this effortless experience with whales and dolphins and auras showed me that generally speaking, my expectations about anything at all limits me tremendously. When I sit quietly with an open mind, ready to receive whatever may come, I open myself to new ways of being, to new experiences, to more knowledge about myself and my capabilities. I allow myself to grow beyond where I’ve been, and that’s always a good thing.
“Let expectations go; let yourself grow.”
Peace and productivity to you,
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